Reflections on 2022
In 2022 I supported 34 families, my busiest year to date, and with that business came an assurance that this is the path I am meant to be on. My doula business felt real this year, I knew the doubt of the ebbs would be rewarded with the surety of the flows, and so I trusted myself to ride those waves. Birth is filled with waves, and with trust…so I just had to walk my talk! In June I hosted a third birthday party for my business, and gathering with my families made it all feel so real…
Dear families, loved ones, friends, distant relations, and people who stumble upon my online presence,
I haven’t written a blog post in a while…or a newsletter email…or honestly an instagram post caption, my life has just been so full of the “living it” that I haven’t stopped to write about my reflections. But if I am ever going to slow down and focus long enough to write, it is going to be during the shortest days of the year when time passing is marked by warm meals, cups of tea, and lit candles.
So here I am with my cup of tea, ready to write out my reflections on the past year to share with you all.
The Birth Things
In 2022 I supported 34 families, my busiest year to date, and with that business came an assurance that this is the path I am meant to be on. My doula business felt real this year, I knew the doubt of the ebbs would be rewarded with the surety of the flows, and so I trusted myself to ride those waves. Birth is filled with waves, and with trust…so I just had to walk my talk! In June I hosted a third birthday party for my business, and gathering with my families made it all feel so real.
My first gratitude goes to all the families who welcomed me into their experiences this year. I know I thanked you all when I said good-bye, but I truly mean it, it was an honor to be there with you. Every birth story is different, and none of them are predictable. There was a lot of education, advocating, planning, discussing, and debriefing this year. And there were plenty of challenging experiences this year. Long long labors that ended in cesarean delivery when we were all so exhausted. Many inductions, and cases of hypertension and preeclampsia, which are always hard because we want to make safe and good decisions and also be sure to listen to our guts. I supported people as they learned that cesarean delivery would be the safest way for their baby to enter this world, even when that was the last thing anyone wanted to hear.
I also witnessed many surprises, fast labors, speedy pushing, babies much bigger or smaller than were guessed.
In short, I stood next to some of the strongest, bravest, and most caring parents I have ever met. All in all, the birth doula part of my year was as splendid as one would anticipate.
My next gratitude goes to the providers. I spent hundreds of hours at the hospital, specifically Wentworth-Douglass and all I can say is that I am so incredibly grateful and in awe of all the midwives and nurses who work there. Truly. But that’s not actually all I can say, I can say that I learned from them, and I shared with them, we brainstormed, worried, and rejoiced together. That community is not a given when you are a self employed doula, or a doula working at a hospital, and I don’t take it for granted.
The last gratitude is for my colleagues, my village, my cup fillers, mentors, friends, and listening ears. You not only paved the way for me, but now we can walk down this road together, and nothing makes my heart more full. I called for back-up 3 times this year when it was needed, and had a doula on standby just in case at least 3-5 more times on top of that. Worrying about back-up can be the most stressful part of doula work, and I am so grateful I have all of you.
The non-birth things
The beauty of doula work is that it often comes with a lot of time to give to other projects and activities, so there was much more to my year than just attending births. For once you step into the world of reproductive healthcare, you get pretty darn immersed.
I continued my volunteer work with The Lovering Center in Greenland NH as an abortion doula and aftercare staff. Working in an independent abortion care center was something to behold in the year Roe fell. I watched the most committed providers give the most informed and thoughtful care every day we watched our rights get stripped away across the country. I am truly grateful I was part of the team on the abortion days I was there.
On the topic of abortion access, in June when Roe was overturned I had the opportunity to speak at a rally in Henry Law Park in Dover, you can watch a video of my speech here. I was also privileged enough to be part of a roundtable discussion with Senator Hassan at Lovering to talk about abortion care in NH, you can read about it here.
If this topic makes your blood boil as much as it makes mine, feel free to express your rage through donation to either Lovering or the Reproduction Freedom Fund of NH.
I also continued volunteering as a board member for New Parent Care Package, an organization that creates care packages centered around the pillars of nourish, cope and connect for new parents. We distributed many packages this year, and it was a joy to be part of.
I am still teaching childbirth education classes at Wentworth Douglass Hospital, I thoroughly enjoy enlightening folks on the stages and phases of labor, what to bring to the hospital, and how to ask for support once you are home with a new baby. I love being part of that team.
And lastly…
Though I sound very busy, I have many days of patiently waiting for babies, and can fit in all the things I enjoy. In 2022 this looked like a lot of time with friends, many outdoor walks and explorations, visiting Wentworth Greenhouse (and when I couldn’t possibly fit another plant in my apartment, I would just go to browse), a good handful of knitting and sewing projects, and of course drinking cups of tea.
into the new year we go!
2023 lies ahead, so many months, weeks, days, hours, and minutes to fill…what shall I get up to?
Well for starters I am already booked for the first couple months, and I anticipate my summer being busy as well. More classes, and volunteering, and tea and plants. But what are the dreams?
The dreams are community, gathering my clients and families (past and present) together to meet and connect and celebrate. In the park, at the beach, I am not sure yet but I want this dream to come true.
I will also be bringing back my newsletter…which you may know already if you got here via an email from said newsletter. The goal is to make it monthly, with updates, invitations, and celebrations.
I also want to make an official addition to my services by adding a postpartum doula support package add on. I have been working on my certification and done some support this year, but it’s time to make it official.
My heart is so full, thank you all for being part of my year, for trusting me, for loving me, for holding me as I trust, love, and hold you. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so thank you for helping me keep mine full.
Stay in touch (aka text me those baby pics), and I will see you all soon.
Love,
Emma Dolan
How to Find a Doula
Finding a doula can seem like a daunting task, especially if you live an area where there are many doulas and birth workers to chose from. Maybe your friend had a doula, and she can’t stop telling you how amazing it was. Maybe you heard about doulas in your childbirth education class and wanted to learn more. Maybe you googled “ways to reduce medical interventions in birth” and a doula was suggested. For whatever reason you are looking for a doula, it might feel like a big task. Here are some tips to finding the right doula for you.
Finding a doula can seem like a daunting task, especially if you live an area where there are many doulas and birth workers to chose from. Maybe your friend had a doula, and she can’t stop telling you how amazing it was. Maybe you heard about doulas in your childbirth education class and wanted to learn more. Maybe you googled “ways to reduce medical interventions in birth” and a doula was suggested. For whatever reason you are looking for a doula, it might feel like a big task. Here are some tips to finding the right doula for you.
First, ask your provider what doulas they usually recommend. Some providers are really supportive of doula work, and have local doulas they regularly refer patients too. If your provider does not have a recommendation, then ask a friend, a childbirth education instructor, or some other provider you have. (As a doula I work hard to make connections to providers who have pregnant clients, so it is worth asking your chiropractor/acupuncturist/message therapist, etc…) I have always found it helpful to hear a direct recommendation from someone than just googling “doulas near me.” That being said…
Second, if no one has any recommendations on local doulas go ahead and google “doulas near me,” or “doulas in Maine,” and see what comes up.
Here are a few websites that list doulas in the area.
DONA International- On their website you can search for birth doulas by entering your zip code and an area radius. The list they provide are all doulas who are DONA certified. This is a good list because you know you are getting a trained and certified doula.
Doula Match- This website is a resource of hundreds of doulas, you enter your zip code and an area radius, and your due date. The doulas input their availability, so the ones that come up for you are available at your due date! Doula Match is not affiliated with any specific certifying organization, so you will be given a wide variety of doulas with many varying experiences.
Doula Trainings International- this is a certifying organization (similar to DONA), on their website you can enter your zip code and doulas in your area pop up!
These are the three big ones, but different areas have organizations with doulas specific to that location.
Third, look for certification. Doulas listed on DONA’s website are all DONA certified, which is the most common and widely spread certification organization. Doula Match confirms that doulas who say they are certified, are in fact certified, though it can be through any organization. If a doula is certified, it means that they have completed a certain number of births, done a workshop, and participate in continuing education workshops. Some doulas are not certified, and this is not necessarily a bad thing. If a doula is uncertified but has attended hundreds of births, then it is a fairly safe bet that she is a wonderful and talented doula.
Fourth, make your list. Now you have done your research and found all these wonderful doulas in your area. But who to choose? I don’t know of any doulas who charge for a first phone call, we are all happy to hear from prospective clients. Start calling the doulas on your list, ask about their training, their availability, their back-up plan, their values, their fees, and their contract policies. If you don’t click or something seems off, cross her off your list. Chances are that if you don’t get along now, you won’t get along when you’re in labor. This is a good time to go with your gut feeling. Maybe you talk to a doula who has attended hundreds of births but doesn’t have a sense of humor. And then you talk to a newer doula and she is just starting out, but makes you feel comfortable and happy. Follow your gut, birth is a really intuitional experience.
Fifth, I know I just listed things to ask a doula on the phone, but I will lay them out here again for when you meet your doula in your first prenatal meeting.
Ask your doula questions, she will answer them!
o Her training
o How many births she’s attended
o How many clients she takes each month
o What her fee is
o Does she support _________ (VBAC, bottle feeding, breast feeding, planned caesarean birth, surrogacy births, clients with traumatic history, whatever is important and relevant to you)
Most likely your doula will remind you to ask questions multiple times in the interview, and don’t hold back. She is there to answer your questions and to be a knowledgeable resource.
Your doula will talk with you about her services and her scope of practice, what she can and cannot do as a doula.
Most doulas (including me) sign a client contract at the end of this first meeting. There is usually a down payment made at this time, as well as an explanation of services. If you have questions about the fees, for example, does she offer sliding scale fees, or payment plans, ask them before you get to signing the contract!
These are my suggestions for choosing the right doula. The big takeaway is to follow your gut instinct, if it feels like a good fit, it probably is. Having a doula at your birth is a wonderful option, and I hope you find someone who is right for you!